made up testimonials

Do you have any idea how hard it was to make up all of these? Please believe that they're real - we went to a lot of effort. 

“We were looking for something a bit different to strippers and penis straws, but Brett convinced us that he was “heaps sick” at stripping and he was right. What a night, thanks Great Race!”
— Gabby C. | Maid of Honour
“I don’t remember anything. They paid me to write this.”
— Jimbo | Best Man
“We raced planes. Actually raced freaking PLANES. Wow. They weren’t even pilots, but they could’ve fooled us! Great Race are the best!”
— Alan J. | QANTAS